


Not Everyone, Not You

by hajduk



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajduk/pseuds/hajduk
Summary: This is what I imagine would've happened if Clarke had saved Lexa from the bullet intended for her.
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Luna/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Jasper Jordan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 91





	1. Resurrection

** Chapter One: Resurrection **

"I don't want the next Commander, _I want you_."

The words echoed in Lexa's mind as she faded from consciousness, and ultimately, the living world. She felt her blood slipping from her body, warm and sticky, sliding down her sides and spreading across her stomach. She bit her tongue, afraid to let any groans of pain escape her lips. Her eyes danced wildly around the room, afraid to look at Clarke but too scared to focus on anything else. 

"Stay with me, Lexa!" Clarke's voice was growing farther and farther away.

"My fight is over."

Then, Lexa died.

* * *

Clarke had Titus apply pressure to the wounds as she frantically tried to bring Lexa back from the arms of death. She began emergency surgery with the tools that were brought to her while also keeping her heart beating manually. She had others continue the beating while she opened Lexa up in search of the bullet.

 _It never should have come to this_ , Clarke's mind betrayed her. _You've killed her and her blood is on your hands_.

"Shut up," Clarke hissed at herself, blinking away the tears in front of her eyes. She couldn't lose focus now, but it was becoming increasingly difficult with her mind working against her.

 _You should be dead, not Lexa_.

Clarke couldn't argue with that one.

Suddenly, she exclaimed, "I have it!" Pulling the bullet from Lexa's body, she began the process of fixing her internally. The bullet barely missed important organs, but there was a mess of internal bleeding. Her breathing was ragged with fear, but she was doing it. If she succeeded, Lexa could survive this. She just needed to bring her back from the brink of death.

The operation took longer than Clarke wanted, but when she sewed her up, Clarke felt a touch of relief. Just a touch. She focused on breathing air into Lexa's lungs and working on her heart.

"Please," Clarke whispered, "Please, Lexa. Come back. Please."

Just as she was ready to give up, Lexa took a shaking breath, her heartbeat returning to beat on its own. Her eyes met Clarke's, wild with the pain while Clarke's were full of relief. Clarke sobbed, pressing her forehead to Lexa's.

"I...Clarke..." Lexa rasped, before losing consciousness.

Worried, Clarke checked her pulse and her breathing. Everything was fine. She must've passed out from the pain. She'll regain consciousness in a few minutes, most likely. Until then, she needed to give her something for the pain. Anything.

Turning to the healer that was brought in, Clarke barked at him, "I need a painkiller. Anything you have. We have to take the strain off her, immediately." The man nodded, rummaging around before producing a vial. Clarke let the man uncork it and drip a few drops into Lexa's slightly parted lips. Clarke watched over him, extremely protective of Lexa.

The healer stepped back with a bow, corking the vial back up and putting it away. "It should help her. For now." 

Clarke nodded in acknowledgment, taking a breath. She turned around to face Titus with a murderous expression written all over her face. "Get. Out," she snarled at him, shaking with fury. Titus looked as if he were ready to retort, but his eyes landed on Lexa and his face began to constrict with guilt. He left without a word.

Clarke moved to gently sit beside Lexa on the bed, her brows furrowed with worry. She raised a shaking hand to push away some of Lexa's brown hair from her forehead, slick with sweat. Her hand rested there and she gently moved her thumb around Lexa's temple.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to Lexa. "The bullet was meant for me. I should be in your position. It should be me."Her voice cracked with emotion and instead of keeping it at bay, she gave in to the sobs. She let them overtake her until she was struggling to breathe normally, then she began to calm herself down. Locking the door to the bedroom, Clarke came to sit on one of the couches in the room, her eyes trained on Lexa's body in a watchful, protective gaze.

Every few minutes, Clarke would rise to check Lexa's breathing and pulse, as well as to check for a fever. She changed Lexa's dressings as often as she dared, hesitant to move her too much.

Lexa drifted in and out of consciousness for a few hours, before settling into sleep. With every passing hour that Lexa was still alive, Clarke felt herself beginning to relax. It wasn't complete relaxation, that was for sure, but it was a lot better than her intense stature and state of mind.

She spent most of her time seated by Lexa's side, listening to her breathing and cleaning the blood away from as much as she could with a wet towel.

Clarke had her back turned from Lexa, setting the blood-soaked towel down when she heard a low groan. She spun quickly, her eyes wide. Lexa was awake, her eyes trained on Clarke.

"Lexa," she whispered, quickly sitting at Lexa's side. Her hand was resting against her face, gentle. "How do you feel?" 

Lexa had a dry smile. "Good," she spoke, trying to convince Clarke. The blond just shook her head, not buying it. "Titus?" Lexa rasped, glancing around with tired eyes. 

Clarke shook her head. "I sent him out. He's probably standing somewhere nearby, waiting to be let back in," she told her. "He nearly killed you," Clarke frowned, anger rising in her voice.

"He tried to kill _you_ ," Lexa responded, trying to make her voice sound powerful. It didn't work but instead caused her to grimace. "He must be dealt with," Lexa said, her eyes sad. Clarke couldn't understand how she could feel sorry for the man after all he did.

She only nodded in agreement with Lexa.

The Commander studied her with hesitant eyes. "The blockade," she croaked. "Octavia--"

"--can leave without me," Clarke decided, firm. "I'm not leaving you. Not now."

Clarke felt Lexa's pulse quicken underneath her fingertips, but the Commander didn't say another word. Clarke was grateful for it. She wasn't sure how long she'd stay in Polis, or if she planned to stay permanently. She didn't want to give Lexa false hope. 

"Get some rest, Lexa," Clarke said with a smile. "I'll be here when you wake up again."

Lexa looked doubtful but did just as Clarke asked nonetheless. She closed her eyes and soon her breathing became even again.

* * *

When Lexa woke sometime later, she was met with the impossible pain inside of her stomach. It made her nauseous and threatened to cause her to moan and groan, but she bit her tongue. Practice with pain gave her experience of staying silent.

Clarke was at her window, staring out at her city. She watched her with a soft gaze, the feeling of love prevalent in her body, spreading everywhere. Clarke noticed her gaze and moved to her, a questioning expression written over her.

"Are you okay?" Clarke asked her but winced as she realized what a silly question it was. Of course, Lexa wasn't okay. She was brought back from death, her heart made to beat again from Clarke's hands. Her life brought back because of Clarke.

"Yes," Lexa whispered, not trusting her voice to be any louder than that. Clarke turned to a table and produced a cup, filling it with water from a pitcher. Lexa's throat ached as she suddenly felt the need to drink water. The adrenaline had officially worn off.

Clarke helped lift Lexa's head up and pushed her hands away when Lexa moved them toward the cup. "Let me," she whispered to her.

Lexa felt a protest in her throat but bit it down. She could let Clarke care for her, though it was a strange feeling. She never let anyone care for her like this, not even when she was injured. But then again, she had never been resurrected before. Lexa supposed her resurrection was enough of a reason to warrant Clarke's care.

Her thirst quenched, Lexa let her head drop with a grunt. Lexa noted the way Clarke looked at her, with an expression she was all too familiar with. One she saw in the mirror when she looked at herself, sometimes.

"It wasn't your fault," Lexa told her softly.

Clarke scoffed, folding her arms tight over her chest. "You know that's a lie, Lexa. Titus wanted me dead and he tried to kill me. If you hadn't walked in when you did, it would've been me. It _should've_ been me." Clarke's eyes welled with tears.

"No." Lexa's voice was firm. "Clarke, if you had gotten hit, who would've saved you? Titus? Me?" Lexa shook her head weakly. "None of us are the accomplished healer you are. If it was you, you'd be dead."

"Lexa, you _were_ dead," Clarke's voice was raw with emotion, her lower lip wobbling uncontrollably. Lexa looked at her, stunned by the emotion Clarke showed.

Taking a calming breath, Lexa said, "Yes, I was. But you brought me back. You're the only reason I'm alive."

Clarke was frustrated but sat down beside Lexa all the same. Lexa slowly reached for her hand and after a moment of surprise, Clarke let her take it. Lexa let out a breath of relief that Clarke hadn't pulled her hand away, and she carefully ran her thumb over Clarke's knuckles.

"You saved me, Clarke. That's something I'll never be able to repay you for," Lexa whispered, her hand shaking over Clarke's.

The blond turned their hands over and took Lexa's in both of hers, watching her face intensely. "Repay me by staying alive and helping me with my people." She paused for a moment. "Our people." 

Lexa's eyebrows raised in surprise, but she said nothing. She only nodded her agreement. "Very well. I'll give your people one last chance. They can join my Coalition, or they can suffer. The blockade will be enforced until they submit."

Knowing that's the best she'll get, Clarke nodded her head in understanding. "Thank you, Lexa," she whispered, gently squeezing her hand.

The Commander gave Clarke a single nod before wincing once more from the pain in her abdomen. Clarke dutifully got to her feet and produced a vial of some sort, dripping a few drops into Lexa's mouth. Within a few minutes, the pain began to dull a bit.

"I need to speak with Titus," Lexa decided, starting to sit up. To her annoyance, Clarke pressed her hands on both of Lexa's shoulders, forcing her back down.

"No way," Clarke raised her voice with worry. "You're resting. I'm not letting you up for _at least_ twenty-four hours and there is absolutely no arguing with me on this."

Lexa stared Clarke down, but the blond didn't wither away. Instead, her gaze became more intense with every second. This amused Lexa, despite her annoyance. With some reluctance, Lexa relaxed her body, letting Clarke win this. For now.

"Good," Clarke spoke with relief. "Now let's get you out of these clothes and let me clean up some of the blood." Lexa raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Clarke noticed her eyebrow and rolled her eyes, saying, "you know what I meant." That elicited a smile from Lexa.

The smile soon faded when Clarke began to pull away some of her clothing. It was increasingly difficult and caused her pain, so Clarke resorted to cutting it all away. Disappearing for a few moments, Clarke returned with some new clothes.

"Do you think you can sit up?" Clarke asked her.

Lexa nodded, and Clarke sat her up against the bedpost as she helped her get dressed into new, clean clothes. Clarke then took the bed coverings and threw them to the side, replacing the cloth and furs with new ones. Then, she eased Lexa back into the bed. Lexa noticed that the absence of the blood eased Clarke significantly. 

"I'm okay," she assured her, trying to have her voice sound as convincing as possible.

Clarke took a breath, trying to seem relaxed. "You will be," she nodded. "You will be."


	2. Electricity

**Chapter Two: Electricity**

Lexa's mouth was dry as a desert when she woke. Turning her head, she spotted the cup of water that Clarke had given to her before. She reached for it, grunting with the effort. It was just in her fingertips before her hand shook and the water tipped, spilling onto the small table and the cup fell off, clattering onto the floor.

Cringing as she noticed Clarke jump up from sleeping on the couch, Lexa settled back down into the bed. Clarke's anxious look went away when she realized that the noise had just been the cup. 

"You could've asked," Clarke mumbled, giving Lexa a kind look.

Lexa shook her head. "I just wanted water, I should be able to do that for myself." She was frustrated, by the tone in her voice.

"Now that your girlfriend is okay, can you help me out?" The sudden voice of a male made Clarke whirl around, brandishing a knife. Murphy.

Lexa tried to sit up and show that her injury wasn't as bad as it truly was, but the effort made her cry out as a sudden jolt of pain like a lightning strike ran up her abdomen. Clarke turned back around to face her, a hand gently resting on Lexa's shoulder while she stood between her and Murphy.

"Don't worry, I've been unconscious. If you two had sex, I wouldn't have noticed," Murphy grumbled.

Clarke moved toward him, much to Lexa's dismay. She didn't trust him but said nothing as Clarke freed him from the chains. Murphy stood, stumbling for a moment before standing straight and stretching. 

"Murphy, what the hell happened to you?" Clarke asked him quickly.

"Ask your pal out there," Murphy responded, but he seemed to be addressing Lexa.

Her confusion was obvious until she realized who he was talking about. Her expression darkened. "Titus," Lexa realized. "Titus did this to you, didn't he?" Murphy nodded, still staring at the Commander. "How long were you imprisoned?" She questioned him. 

Murphy just shrugged. "Long enough to realize that whatever religion you follow is connected to how we ended up in space," he told her.

"What do you mean?" Lexa frowned, not understanding what Murphy was getting at. How could anything her people did have anything to do with how the Skaikru got into space? It didn't make sense to her in the slightest.

"This place is Polis, right?" He began, taking a seat but stretching his legs out. Lexa nodded. "The thirteenth station in the sky was called Polaris. There's a woman in some cave paintings down where Titus kept me. That woman definitely escaped the station, landing on Earth just as we did," his eyes drifted to meet Clarke's for a moment, before turning back to Lexa's. "Your very first Commander was the same woman who escaped the thirteenth station."

Lexa let out a breath of air, doubtful, but not toward Murphy's statement but toward everything she had ever learned. It made sense. Their history and Skaikru's history overlapped, that much was for sure. It wouldn't be completely wild for this to be true.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Clarke asked, studying him closely. She didn't trust him either, Lexa noticed. She didn't blame her. 

"It means whatever dope Jaha has been smoking is the same dope that created this whole Commander thing," he waved his arms in front of him.

Lexa's head began to spin. This was a lot to take in and she wasn't sure she wanted to take it all in. Clarke noticed this and began to move toward Murphy, ready to kick him out of the room. 

"Hold on, hold on!" Murphy flinched away from Clarke. "I can help!" Clarke pauses, letting him continue. "Jaha has people taking the same shit, talking about some sort of City of Light. If I could kill him, it would end that mess."

Clarke began to protest before Lexa cut her off. "Very well. But not only are you going to kill Jaha but Pike as well."

Her voice seemed to startle Clarke, who turned to face her. "Lexa, I thought you were going to give my people a chance to overthrow Pike," she said.

Lexa studied her face but stayed firm on her decision. "Murphy is going back to Arkadia to kill Jaha but I'm sure he could manage to kill Pike as well. There is no other way, Clarke. Surely you must see that too. Your people will not bend with Pike in charge. They will if he's dead."

She watched Clarke's internal battle of morality, not wanting to be part of a murder, but understanding that Lexa was right. Clarke nodded solemnly, stepping back to let Lexa speak to Murphy.

"You will be escorted to Arkadia, where you will carry out your orders. If you don't succeed, Murphy, your people will suffer." She tried to ignore the way Clarke flinched at those words. She needed to appear fierce so Murphy would understand the severity of the situation.

Murphy nodded, getting to his feet. Lexa looked at Clarke, letting her take control of the situation. She watched Clarke nod to her before escorting Murphy out of the room. She would prepare him for his departure and send him on his way immediately. Clarke knew that the faster he got to Arkadia, the better chance her people had at surviving.

Meanwhile, Lexa started to work on sitting up. She still didn't get her water and she felt as if she were dying of thirst. She began to slowly inch herself up into a sitting position, panting heavily and starting to sweat. She hated how hard it was for her to do something as simple as sitting up.

When she finally had gotten in a sitting position, she let herself rest against the headboard of the bed as she caught her breath. Her abdomen was throbbing, a pain that seemed to increase with every heartbeat she had.

Heartbeat. She was incredibly aware of how lucky she was to be alive. How lucky she was to have that heartbeat.

She swung her legs carefully over the side of the bed and stared at the cup below her. It didn't seem like it was far away, but she knew it would be harder to get to than it seemed. She was already feeling faint.

Taking a few steadying breaths, Lexa carefully put weight on her legs, settling into a crouched position. Her pain was causing her to sweat even more. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, studying the cup a few feet in front of her. She slid toward it, her fingers grasping it.

Lexa clutched the cup tightly in her hand as she reached for the table to pull herself up. Her breathing intensified and spots danced in front of her eyes, shifting with the pain in her abdomen. This was hard, she realized. This was very hard.

Wanting to just go for it, Lexa pushed herself up to her feet. She gasped at the sudden pain and her free hand hovered over her stomach, afraid to touch it. She placed the cup down on the table with a heavy hand and sat on the bed. The darkness around the edge of her vision threatened to completely consume her eyesight, but Lexa steadied her breathing and blinked many times, each blink causing the darkness to recede a bit.

When the darkness was gone, she reached for the pitcher with the sudden realization that she couldn't lift it. It was heavy, filled more than halfway with water. Every time she went to try to lift it a strong and sudden pain would shoot through her body, causing her to wince.

Frustration pooled within her as she stared angrily at the pitcher.

"Lexa," Clarke gasped, hurrying to her side. "What are you doing?" She asked, before following Lexa's angry gaze to the pitcher of water. "Here, let me," she said softly, pouring the water into the cup. 

Lexa took it, embarrassed that she was unable to do this.

"Please lay back down," Clarke begged her. "You need to rest or you'll burst your stitches. I did a lot of work on you and I can't let you get hurt from straining yourself too hard."

"I'm fine," Lexa waved her concern away, setting the now empty cup down on the table. "I need to get up, Clarke. I have duties to fulfill."

"Not while you're hurt like this," Clarke frowned at her, her hands resting gently on Lexa's shoulders. The Commander softened at Clarke's touch. "There's nothing to be done, Lexa. Murphy is on his way to Arkadia. He'll get help and take care of Jaha and Pike. Then, my people will become the thirteenth clan, just as we had originally planned." 

Lexa studied Clarke's face. "Your faith in your people is impressive, Clarke. Especially after all they've done to you," she told her softly.

Clarke seemed to think about this before she responded, saying, "I have to protect them and do what's right for them, regardless of how they feel about me or how I feel about them."

Again, Clarke gently pressed on Lexa's shoulders, willing her to lay back down. Lexa obliged, noticing how it made Clarke relax.

Just as Clarke was about to walk away, Lexa reached out and grabbed her arm. Clarke stared at her, confused. "Stay," Lexa whispered, then swallowed. "Please."

Clarke nodded and without a word, she slipped into the bed with Lexa, turning on her side to face her. It was so strange for her to think about that almost twenty-four hours ago, they were laying in bed together in bliss, unaware of the chaos that would follow.

"What is it?" Lexa asked, noticing the furrow of Clarke's brow.

Clarke smiled, reaching out a hand to push away stray hairs in Lexa's face. "I'm just glad you're alive," she told her, suddenly finding herself blinking away tears.

Lexa noticed the tears and felt the need to reassure her. "It's thanks to you, Clarke. You saved my life," she smiled back at Clarke, putting her hand on top of Clarke's which rested on her face.

The smile dropped from her face as she glanced at Clarke's lips, wanting to feel them on hers once again. Her gaze was intense and Clarke recognized it immediately. Clarke leaned forward, capturing Lexa's lips with her own in a soft, careful way. When they pulled away, Clarke was crying. 

"What's wrong?" Lexa asked, concerned.

"Nothing, I--" She paused as her breath hitched in her throat. "I...I love you," Clarke said just as another tear slid down her face into the pillow. "I love you and I was so afraid that I would never get to tell you, that you would die before I would ever tell you. That you'd die not knowing how I felt." Her tears increased.

Lexa shushed her softly, her thumb brushing over Clarke's cheek, wiping away tears. "Hey." Her soft voice was music to Clarke's ears. "I love you too," Lexa smiled at her, her heart full. Clarke loves her. She could hardly believe what she heard. Clarke told her she loves her.

Clarke noticed the smile on Lexa's face, which elicited one from her too. She leaned in and kissed her again, whispering once more, "I love you."


	3. Half Light

**Chapter Three: Half Light**

At the edge of the treeline, the grounders stepped away from Murphy. All except one. Murphy studied him, then shrunk a little. "You're going to make it seem like I escaped, aren't you," Murphy said, posing it not as a question but as an observation. The grounder responded by driving his knee into Murphy's gut, causing him to lose all the air in his lungs. He gasped, clutching his stomach. The grounder took a knife and cut Murphy's shoulder.

He cried out, his hand clamping over the wound.

"Was that really necessary?" He snapped at the grounder, but he was already walking away, Murphy forgotten.

Still hunched over, Murphy emerged from the treeline with blood slipping through his fingers. Hatred burned inside him as he thought of the grounders, but the hatred grew even stronger when he thought about the people inside the walls of Arkadia.

The people who finally noticed him staggering toward them.

"Finally," he mumbled to himself as the gate opened and two soldiers jogged out to him. One was Harper and her reaction didn't surprise him in the slightest. She was disgusted, but also shocked he was even alive.

"We need a medic," Harper spoke into her radio as she and the other soldier helped Murphy along. As he entered Arkadia's walls, he looked around. It was nearly sunset, but no one seemed to be around. Harper noticed his glances, and explained, "There's an execution outside the walls scheduled to take place."

Murphy stumbled at the words, shocked. "Whose execution?" He asked, his voice hollow.

"Lincoln's," Harper told him. Murphy felt his mouth dry up as he looked back outside the walls. "You won't be able to see them." She continued to usher them along. "Pike took him out behind Arkadia and right now there's a curfew. You need to be inside."

He let her lead him into the hospital wing, onto an open bed. He noticed there were a lot of sick and dying Arkadians, but no grounders seemed to be around. He guessed that Pike was executing all of them. He wasn't feeling very bad about having to kill him.

Abby Griffin was the one to see him.

"Murphy," she breathed, staring at him in bewilderment. "How did you..."

"Well, you see, I did it no thanks to any of you." He gave her his best glare, but then winced as she started to cut away the material around his arm. "They tried to stop me but I got out. Barely," he explained of the injury. 

Abby got to work on it immediately, cleaning it up and giving him stitches. Murphy stayed silent for the most part, but toward the end, Abby could tell he was itching to say something. "What is it?" She asked him.

Murphy cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at Abby. "I saw Clarke," he said. Abby froze. "She's fine, she's still with the Commander. Clarke helped me escape."

The woman's hands shook, no doubt remembering how Clarke chose to stay with Lexa over coming back to her own people. "Did she say anything?" Abby asked, focused on Murphy's injuries.

He just shrugged in partial response, glancing over his shoulder to see if anyone else was paying any attention. He changed the subject, asking, "I hear Lincoln is being executed. Why?"

Abby's expression was sad. "He staged an uprising and Pike called it treason."

Murphy winced. He was supposed to kill Pike, but the man would be on high alert from here on out. He wasn't sure how he'd be able to do it and in time to satisfy the Commander. He knew how she could get when she was angry and he wanted to avoid that as much as possible.

"Take it easy with your shoulder, okay?" Abby gave his hand a squeeze.

Before she could walk away, Murphy grabbed it. "Abby, I need to talk to you." The intensity of his gaze and the low tone of voice made Abby realize that this was sensitive and serious. She gave a nod, motioning for him to follow her.

They walked down a hall before Abby let Murphy into her sleeping quarters. "What is it?" She asked.

"I need to kill Pike. And Jaha." Murphy said it outright, carefully watching her reaction. She didn't give him much of one, but instead, she nodded in agreement but kept a watchful eye on him.

"Did Clarke send you to do this?" She questioned.

Murphy shook his head no. "Lexa did."

Abby let out a breath of air. Murphy decided that it was because she didn't want Clarke to make that decision, the decision to end someone's life. He wanted to tell her that Clarke was changed and that she agreed with Lexa's decision and didn't really question it. Clarke was a killer too.

"No one can get close to him," Abby started. "Everyone that's tried has failed. And the only way you'll be able to kill both of them is if you start with Pike. That way, you won't be tried with the murder of Jaha."

"You're not going to kill me?" Murphy asked, raising an eyebrow.

Abby stared hard at him. "There are some sacrifices that we have to make and some decisions that might not essentially align with moral codes, but they're necessary regardless."

Murphy snorted at her explanation. "That's a funny way of saying you're going to turn a blind eye to the murders," he told her.

"Would you rather I throw you in prison? Execute you?"

"What does it matter?" Murphy snapped. "I've been dead for a long time."

The silence grew in the room as the two stared each other down. Abby wasn't sure what to say and Murphy was pleased with having rendered the doctor silent. It amused him, though he didn't show it.

"Pike will want to talk to you and get as much information as he can get on the grounders. You have to figure out a way to get him alone," Abby decided, standing up straight.

Murphy raised an eyebrow. "Then what? Strangle him to death?"

Abby didn't miss a beat, saying, "you're resourceful, or you wouldn't have survived this long." She paused a moment, thinking of what to say. "People have been trying to kill you for the longest time, John, and you've managed to stay alive. I trust you'll find something useful here to aid you." And with that, she turned on her heel and left her room.

Murphy ran his good hand through his hair before pinching the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb. Then, he stood up and started rummaging around Abby's room, her words echoing in his head. _"I trust you'll find something useful here to aid you."_ He checked the drawers and the closet, the bedside table, before pausing a moment. He stuffed his hands underneath the mattress, searching. Then, into the pillowcases. One of his hands hit something cool and hard.

Drawing it out, he looked at an old pistol. It was small and looked ancient as if it would be a fifty-fifty chance that it would even work. He checked the chambers, revealing that it was completely loaded.

"Thanks, Abby," Murphy mumbled before sticking the gun in the waistband of his pants.

He frowned at it, knowing that Pike would have him searched for any weapons before he would be permitted to see him. An idea struck in his head. He hurried after Abby, gently grabbing her elbow. She flinched but realized it was Murphy.

"Give me a sling," Murphy said under his breath. "I'll hide the gun in it."

Abby didn't say anything, didn't even nod. She just kept walking and checked once to see if Murphy was following. Satisfied, she pulled a sling out from a drawer and began to fasten it on him. Murphy began to relax. This could work. This _will_ work, it'll have to.

* * *

Clarke and Lexa were having an argument. Well, Clarke wouldn't call it an argument, per se, but a heated discussion would be an appropriate name for it.

"Lexa," Clarke said her name slowly in the calmest way that she could. "There is absolutely no way I'm going to let you talk to Titus right now. Or at all tonight." Clarke tried to find some sort of understanding look in Lexa's eye but found none. Instead, she was staring at the Commander.

Lexa kept her head held high. "That is a decision that I am making as the Commander, regardless of your feelings for me. I understand you want to keep me safe, but Titus will not harm me again."

Losing her patience, Clarke huffed, "it's not just about my feelings for you, Lexa! This is about the fact that any sort of movement could cause my stitching to break and that means you're going to be put at risk of dying. _Again_." Clarke couldn't understand why Lexa wouldn't just listen to her.

Lexa seemed to consider this, almost succumbing, but shook her head and remained firm. "I'm sorry, Clarke. I have to do this."

"Fine. Then I'm coming with you," Clarke decided, crossing her arms on her chest defiantly.

That didn't seem to bother Lexa as much as Clarke wanted it to. The brunette shrugged her shoulders and began taking slow, careful, yet poised steps out of her room. Her guards stood straighter at the sight of her and Lexa made a great show of pretending to not be injured in the slightest.

All the while, Clarke was practically panicking. At any moment Lexa's stitches could burst and send her into shock and possibly have her bleed out. She wondered how many times she would have to save her life. 

Lexa entered the throne room to find Titus seated, staring off into space until she entered. He stood at once, making fast steps toward Lexa until she held up her hand, to which he paused.

Clarke watched the expressions of the guards in the room, how they seemed to notice the tension although they kept their stoic expressions.

"Titus, you have committed an act of treason by attempting to murder Wanheda, and in turn killing me before Wanheda brought me back to life," Lexa spoke with strength.

Others in the room went still, their faces in pure shock. No one seemed to have seen this coming, and to be honest, Clarke wouldn't have either.

"Heda I--"

" _Silence_!" Lexa's voice echoed throughout the throne room.

Clarke watched her protectively, trying to notice any shrink of her stature that would indicate that the shout had caused her pain. Of course, she found none. But that didn't mean that it wasn't there underneath the surface.

"The punishment for treason is death, as is our custom," Lexa reminded him. "Death by a thousand cuts."

Titus didn't seem to shake or show any fear. In fact, he seemed angry. Livid, even. Clarke felt the hair on the back of her neck go up, almost like a cat or dog's would if they felt threatened.

"It is a mistake to keep Wanheda alive but execute me, Heda," he told her.

This angered Lexa. "I no longer require your service or counsel, Titus. You have no right to speak to me about what you perceive to be as mistakes on my part. _I_ am Heda, _I_ am the Commander and you will do as _I_ say." The fury in her voice was obvious.

Clarke felt herself inching forward, if only just to remind Lexa to take it easy because even the strain of yelling could pop her stitches or at the very least cause her a considerable amount of pain. 

Lexa turned to face the men posted around her throne room. "Guards, throw him in a cell. I will execute him in the square at dawn." She turned fast, walking with angry purpose out of the throne room. Clarke flinched, her mind screaming for Lexa to slow down and relax.

She followed her dutifully back into her room, closing the door behind them. When she turned back around, Lexa had one hand against the wall and the other hovered over her abdomen. Her face was etched with pain.

Wordlessly, Clarke moved to help her to the bed.

"I suppose this is the part where you say _I told you so_ , isn't it?" Lexa grimaced. Clarke only shook her head, her lips pursed with worry. "It's just a bit of pain, Clarke. It'll fade," Lexa tried to reassure her, but Clarke was already lifting her shirt up to check her stitches. Her dressings were due for a change anyway.

Clarke breathed a breath of relief at the sight of Lexa's stitches still intact. "You're lucky," Clarke mumbled, wrapping Lexa up with new bandages.

Lexa smiled smugly. "I knew it'd be fine."

"I'm still not wrong," Clarke told her, annoyed. "If you keep putting this kind of strain on yourself, your recovery time is going to be a lot longer than it should be."

"And how long would you say my recovery time is, healer?" Lexa asked her in a light, teasing tone.

Clarke wasn't really in the mood. "Two to three weeks for a complete recovery, but at this rate with all your strenuous activity that you do and refuse to listen to me about, you could be looking at four to six weeks." Lexa winced, her light expression fading. Clarke felt a pang of sympathy. "Hey," she said softly, taking Lexa's hand in her own. "The important thing is that you'll recover. And you'll have me around just in case you decide to do something stupid and bust your stitches," Clarke teased her.

Lexa looked at her, curious. "You'll stay?" She asked.

This caught Clarke off guard. She said she would stay, didn't she?

"Yes, I'm going to be staying a while," she answered quietly. It felt right to say that. It felt good to tell Lexa that she would stay, and Clarke felt a burst of sudden excitement in her body. She'd be staying here with Lexa.

No matter how difficult and confusing their relationship was...or perhaps still is, Clarke felt as if they were on the path of creating something definite, something with structure. Something Clarke could rely on. And the prospect of that greatly excited her.

She wanted to stay with Lexa, that was for sure. And it was clear Lexa wanted her to stay, too.


	4. Movements

**Chapter Four: Movements**

Lexa and Clarke woke just before dawn, Clarke helping Lexa get dressed while complaining all the while about how Lexa shouldn't be doing this. How it was too soon after her injury to do this, et cetera, et cetera. Lexa kept quiet, letting Clarke air out her worries. It didn't bother her that Clarke was complaining like this, in fact, it just showed Lexa that she cared about her wellbeing.

Clarke began to braid Lexa's hair back and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Clarke's fingers through her hair. Her fingers gently ran through her hair, pulling pieces back in a way that even though Clarke was frustrated with Lexa, she never hurt her. Lexa appreciated that.

When she was finished with her hair, Lexa stood and took a deep breath. "It's time," she told Clarke, gazing out at the window. The first hints of dawn began to show at the horizon and the pair made their way down to the city square.

There, ambassadors from eleven of the twelve clans were present, ready to watch the execution of one of the last Flamekeepers in existence. Clarke knew that after this, Lexa would send out a search for another one, though she wasn't sure where to find them.

Clarke was in her own world when Lexa began to address the crowd that gathered. She zoned in on Titus, who was tied up, glaring at her. Clarke felt chills run up her spine as she stared back at Titus with all the confidence and indifference that she could manage.

That's when Lexa began to move toward him. She was unhappy, Clarke knew, but she didn't show it. Only the Commander was present there in the square in front of Titus. Lexa was tucked away, only to come out for Clarke to see.

Titus spoke in Trigedasleng to Lexa. " _Disha ste wrong, Heda_ ," (This is wrong, Commander) he hissed at her. "This sky girl will be the death of you and the death of us all." His voice raised to seem as if he was addressing the crowd that came to watch.

Lexa bristled, a snarl rising to her lips. "The only one who would be the death of me and everyone else here is you, Titus. It is why I don't kill Wanheda, it is why the punishment falls on you." Lexa held her hand out and a soldier off to the side placed a knife in it.

The spectators became silent as they watched Heda bring her knife to Titus' chest for the first cut. Then, she turned around and held it out to Wanheda.

Clarke blinked, shocked for a moment before recovering and hiding her expression beneath a cool mask she's watched Lexa put up too many times. She took a few steps forward and took the knife from Lexa, her hand not shaking from pure willpower.

"The attempt was on your life, Wanheda," Lexa spoke in her Commander's voice. "You must have the second blood."

She didn't like it but slowly drew a line of red parallel to Lexa's. Clarke kept her emotions far from her body language and face as she carried this out. Titus' eyes bore holes into hers, pooling with hatred. Clarke wondered how he could hate her so much solely for loving Lexa. She couldn't understand it.

The ambassadors had their turns with Titus, then it went back to Lexa's hands. She strung another long line, then Clarke drew one in red too. Back to the ambassadors. The scent of blood didn't bother Clarke and hasn't bothered her, but the sight of someone being tortured...that was another story. She had killed Finn to protect him from this kind of death, and so she felt sorry for Titus. He had no one here who would grant him the sweet release of death.

His punishment continued until Lexa's confidence was shaken as she stared at the man who guided her through her time of being the Commander. She gestured for a sword, taking aim. She would've asked if he had any last words, but he was too dazed to respond.

Taking a breath, Lexa said softly, "Yu gonplei ste odon," then drove the sword into Titus' heart, killing him instantly. She looked to the soldiers. "Take him down and call for a funeral pyre to be made."

They bowed their heads and hurried to carry out her orders.

Lexa walked with confidence, her head held high as she entered into her building, headed toward her room. With each step she took farther and farther from watchful eyes, Clarke could see her stature beginning to waver. She wanted to help her carry some of the weight, either her physical weight or the mental kind.

When they were in the safety of her own room, Lexa's breathing was ragged.

"Hey," Clarke's voice was kind and quiet as she carefully took Lexa's hand. "I'm sorry. I know he meant a lot to you, regardless of what he did." Lexa didn't meet her eyes. Clarke pursed her lips, worried. "Take a seat, please," she requested, pulling Lexa toward the couch.

Lexa didn't resist and Clarke had her seated on the couch, though it seemed like she was still in a daze.

"How are your stitches holding up?" Clarke questioned, trying to change the tone of the conversation in order to stop Lexa from dissociating. Lexa looked at her, registering that Clarke was there with her. Clarke asked the question again, causing her to shrug in response. Now, she asked a different question. "How much pain are you in?"

This seemed to snap Lexa out of it, as Clarke knew it would. She straightened her spine, taking a sharp breath. "Very little pain," she responded. "I'm okay. You shouldn't worry about me, but rather about Murphy. He'll either be Skaikru's salvation or their worst enemy," Lexa told her.

Clarke seemed to sober up from that thought as well. She nodded gravely, staring out the window behind Lexa.

"I'm sorry, Clarke," Lexa said, stiffening up with worry. She didn't want Clarke to be angry with her if Murphy fails. She was the one who put him up to the task, so the blame would fall on her, and Lexa was terrified of that. She didn't want to lose Clarke again.

To Lexa's surprise, Clarke sighed, saying, "Don't be. I know you've done everything you can to help me and I appreciate that more than anything. Now, it's out of our control. We just have to hope Murphy survives Arkadia."

* * *

Murphy was just as surprised to see Raven as she was to see him. They stared at each other, a bit stunned before Raven shook her head dismissively. "Abby, I need to talk to you," she said, looking at the doctor with near-frantic eyes.

He watched as the two women interacted silently before Abby walked away at a brisk pace, Raven in tow. Murphy took long strides to keep up with them, nearly flinching when Jasper slid out from the shadows unexpectedly.

"I'm surprised you're still alive," Murphy said to him, barely sparing him a second glance.

Jasper responded in the next second, "me too."

They turned a corner and stepped into a room with medical supplies. Abby turned to face Raven, stepping anxiously in place with a grave expression. "Well?" She questioned. "What'd you find out?"

"I know how to stop A.L.I.E."

It seemed as if everyone collectively inhaled sharply. Abby was the first to break, taking another breath, a slower one. "How?" Raven glanced over her shoulder as if someone was standing there that shouldn't be. Her eyes landed on Murphy. "Raven, he's with us," Abby explained.

Raven scowled in response but continued nonetheless. "The bracelets that you sent us to the ground with, I could rewire it and destroy the chip and stop A.L.I.E.. I could fix this, Abby." The hope Raven had was painfully obvious. "We have to leave as soon as possible. Jaha knows by now, because of A.L.I.E.. It's like a hive mind..." Raven droned away, motioning with her hands animatedly as she spoke.

"So what I'm hearing," Murphy cut in, "is that you need to make sure Jaha doesn't get there first."

Raven said nothing and nodded instead.

Murphy adjusted his sling and took a step back toward the exit. "I'll take care of it. You go get those bracelets."

Walking with purpose, Murphy slipped through hallways and went in search of the crazy old man. Turning down another hallway, he found his way into the mess hall. There, Jaha was unsurprisingly surrounded by at least ten people. Murphy kept his distance, sitting down in one of the farthest chairs while watching Jaha carefully. He couldn't kill him here, not with everyone around, especially not his devoted followers.

Murphy must've been sitting there for at least an hour before Jaha stood, worry lines creasing his forehead but his nauseating smile ever-present. He nodded to his cult members and turned on his heel, leaving the mess hall.

He got to his feet and waited until Jaha was out of the room before walking at a quick pace after him. He spotted Jaha at the end of the hall, going left. Murphy followed. Next, Jaha went right. Murphy hurried after.

This led him outside, where Jaha was slipping out of camp.

"Oh no you don't," Murphy mumbled, crouching down until Jaha was a good ways away before following him through the hidden hole in the fence.

Jaha was moving at a fast pace in the woods, not worried about looking over his shoulder. Murphy supposed that A.L.I.E. was telling Jaha it was completely safe to simply not pay attention to his surroundings. 

Murphy would have to thank A.L.I.E. for making it easy to kill Jaha before Raven destroys her.

After ten minutes of walking, Jaha suddenly stopped. Murphy ducked behind a tree, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Come on out, John." Jaha's voice wasn't taunting, which aggravated Murphy. "I know you're there."

Pulling the gun from his sling, Murphy stepped out from behind the tree with it raised. "Looks like you've found me, but I still win," Murphy smiled at his gun, "by default."

Jaha's pleasant expression never changed. "You're in a lot of pain, John. I can help you with that."

Murphy shook his head, gritting his teeth. "You haven't helped anyone, old man. You've just fucked people up. That's all you've ever done." Jaha was about to speak again, but Murphy cut him off. "I'm not big on monologues or dialogue of any sort. So let's cut this short. Do you have any last words, Chancellor?" He mocked him.

"You're making a mistake, John--" Was all Jaha had to say before the bullet Murphy loosed became embedded in Jaha's chest. The man clawed at the fabric, gasping, and Murphy put a second bullet into him. He collapsed.

His skin crawling, Murphy walked over and put two fingers to Jaha's neck. No pulse. He let out a breath of relief, but it was short. He stared at the dead man and closed his eyes. Murphy straightened his back and turned around, heading back towards Arkadia.

Half his job was done.


	5. Just Forget The World

** Chapter Five: Just Forget The World **

Raven and Jasper returned quite sometime later. Murphy got anxious waiting for them, often pacing around in Abby's room and jumping at every sound of footsteps that passed by the door. He knew it was a matter of time until someone told Pike he was here. He had to be prepared to kill him.

Finally, the door opened. Murphy stepped around the corner out of sight of the door. He waited until the figure walked all the way inside and he saw Bellamy's curly hair and muscular, tall stature. He bristled at the sight of him.

Bellamy turned and noticed him, putting his hands up in a placating way when he saw Murphy had his gun trained at Bellamy's forehead.

"Hey," Bellamy said softly, "I'm with you, Murphy. Abby sent me."

Skeptical, Murphy only frowned and kept the gun trained on Bellamy's head. Bellamy licked his lips, clearly nervous. Murphy didn't know what to think of that. Was he nervous about being discovered as a traitor, or nervous because Murphy had a gun pointed at his head? He couldn't decide which.

Bellamy tried again. "Raven and Jasper went to get the bracelets and they're back. You went to stop Jaha and now you're back," Bellamy said before pausing, looking at Murphy differently. "Did you kill him?" He asked.

Murphy began to lower the gun as Bellamy convinced him. He nodded his head in response to the question asked by Bellamy. "His body is still sitting in the woods," Murphy told him.

"And Pike?" Bellamy asked.

"Alive, obviously. You would've heard otherwise," Murphy said with a touch of attitude in his voice.

The attitude caused Bellamy to smirk, then he said, "good, I need a little action in my life." When he saw Murphy's confused expression, his smirk grew. "I'm going to help you kill Pike."

* * *

Clarke was seated behind Lexa, pulling her hair back into the intricate braids that she wore as Commander.

"A new Flamekeeper is needed. I sent word to the twelve clans and now their leaders are meeting here in Polis. They're on their way," Lexa told Clarke, her voice nearly steady. She was shaken up from Titus' execution, Clarke knew. 

Yearning to lighten the burdens Lexa carried, she asked, "is there anything I can do to help?"

Lexa smiled, sighing a bit with pleasure at Clarke's question. "No, Clarke, there's really nothing you can do. I appreciate your concern."

As Clarke finished the final braid, she leaned back and sighed, looking at Lexa's hair. She wasn't as good as Lexa when it came to these braids, but it only made sense. This was Lexa's culture that she was most familiar with, which made sense.

Sensing Clarke's criticism, Lexa turned to face her with an encouraging look behind her eyes. "You did well, Clarke," Lexa assured her, running her fingers over the braids, "I can feel everything is in place."

Their eyes met, both soft and caring. Lexa felt as if her breathing nearly ceased and Clarke could feel her own pulse quickening. One of Lexa's hands rested on Clarke's thigh as the other carefully cupped her cheek. Then, she leaned in. The kiss was soft and loving and had no heat behind it, but it was intense and intimate just the same. Lexa slowly pulled away with a smile, before leaning in again and kissing Clarke's cheek.

"Come," Lexa said, "my scouts returned today from Arkadia. Perhaps we'll hear some good news."

"Scouts?" Clarke questioned, following Lexa to the door of their bedroom. "You didn't tell me you were tailing Murphy."

Lexa opened the door for Clarke. "I'm not. I've had scouts there and you knew that. In addition to the blockade, I needed scouts there to relay information. They just so happened to return with important news." Lexa stepped out of their room after her before matching her stride.

That caused her to frown. "Do you think..." She trailed off. 

Lexa didn't need to hear the rest of her question to understand it. "I think it's a strong possibility. A scout claims it is worth an immediate audience with me, which she will now receive."

Lexa straightened her spine as she continued down the hall toward her throne room. Clarke slowed her pace so she walked respectfully a few steps behind Lexa. In the throne room, there were already a few soldiers standing at attention and waiting for Lexa. 

"Send in the scouts from Arkadia," Lexa demanded, taking a seat on her throne.

Not even two minutes later, the two scouts were escorted into the throne room. Clarke watched them carefully, trying to determine what news they would bring before they could bring it. It was pointless. Lexa's people wore perfect masks, even when there was nothing covering their faces.

"Speak," Lexa commanded of them.

Bowing their heads, they straightened up before one of the scouts stepped forward. The woman Lexa spoke of that claimed they would need an audience with the Commander. "Heda," she said, her voice eager. "Chancellor Pike is dead."

Clarke felt herself gasp, shocked. She wasn't expecting that at all. Instead, she thought it would be news of Murphy, that he was still alive. But Pike dead? Not at all. She knew Murphy went to kill him, but she was startled by how quickly it happened. Clarke expected that it would take a week, not a mere few days. 

"How did you come by this information?" Lexa asked, her expression nearly betraying her surprise, same as Clarke.

"He was executed at dusk in front of the blockade."

Clarke and Lexa exchanged a glance before Lexa raised her chin higher. "And have we gotten word from Arkadia about becoming the thirteenth clan?"

The scout nodded again. "The man Marcus Kane has assumed power. It is expected they're to send a delegation here. There is a rumor they wish to bring Wanheda back with them." The scout's eyes landed on Clarke for a moment, before turning back to her Commander. "They'll arrive tomorrow after dawn."

Lexa nodded, dismissing the scout. Clarke could see the lines of worry on her face. 

When they were alone, Clarke stepped toward Lexa and carefully squeezed her shoulders. "Hey," Clarke spoke softly, drawing Lexa's eyes to her. "Don't worry about the delegation. I don't have plans to leave you tomorrow."

Lexa managed a weak smile while she masked her thoughts. _No, not tomorrow, but perhaps the next day. Or the next._ She didn't say as much to Clarke, and Clarke didn't pry. 

"This is good, though, right? Pike is dead, the blockade can be lifted on my people. Kane will be here as acting Chancellor, ready to become the thirteenth clan." Clarke sounded incredibly hopeful as she spoke those words. "That can't be a bad thing, can it?" 

"I don't view it as a bad thing, no." Lexa nodded, "let us hope that the other twelve clans don't see it as a bad thing. Azgeda might."

This clouded Clarke's expression. "Azgeda..." she whispered to herself, as if recalling unpleasant memories from a different time. 

Lexa took a few steps toward her and carefully grasped her forearm. "Are you all right?" She asked in a concerned fashion. 

Clarke didn't look up when she nodded. "I will be."


End file.
